12 RULES FOR LIFE – JORDAN PETERSON
“12 Rules for Life” offers clear guidelines to navigate the complexities of life and bring about balance amidst its chaos. Jordan Peterson, drawing from his background in psychology and various disciplines like philosophy and mythology, presents a set of twelve rules aimed at helping individuals live more purposefully and joyfully. These rules encourage behaviors such as self-reflection, discipline, and the pursuit of meaningful goals. Inspired by philosophical inquiries on platforms like Quora, Peterson crafted these rules by distilling his insights and merging them with contemporary science, aiming to equip readers with practical tools to confront life’s uncertainties.
RULE 1: STAND UP STRAIGHT WITH YOUR SHOULDERS BACK
In the animal kingdom, including among humans, dominance hierarchies are the norm. Take lobsters, for example. When they face off, they size each other up based on their physical attributes and chemical signals. The winner typically emerges not by fighting, but by projecting confidence and dominance. This pattern extends to other species: stronger animals often get better resources and higher status.
Humans have a similar system in our brains. Our perception of our social and economic status directly impacts our well-being. Those with high self-esteem exude confidence, leading to respect and success, while those with low self-esteem tend to struggle.
To break the cycle of negative self-perception, start by fixing your posture. Standing tall and confident sends positive signals to yourself and others, leading to better outcomes and a more fulfilling life. It’s about taking charge of your reality and striving to be the best version of yourself.
RULE 2: TREAT YOURSELF LIKE SOMEONE YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HELPING
In our lives, we often care better for our pets than for ourselves. Our experiences, rich with drama and emotion, shape our reality more than mere facts do. We’re caught between chaos and order, with consciousness mediating between them. Despite our primal instincts and societal norms, many people feel inadequate, especially in relationships. Our brains are wired to detect threats and challenges, like the lurking danger of snakes. Unlike predators, we’re acutely aware of our vulnerabilities, which can lead to self-destructive behavior. To truly care for ourselves, we must embrace truth and responsibility, striving to improve our lives and the world around us. By treating ourselves with compassion and foresight, we can steer our lives toward a better future and avoid the pitfalls of our own making.
RULE 3: MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE WHO WANT THE BEST FOR YOU
Placing a troubled individual in a stable environment often results in the spread of trouble, not stability. It’s easier to go downhill than uphill. Assuming the easiest path instead of the hardest one is common. When we blame external factors for everything wrong, we take away personal responsibility and power from the individual. True change comes from within, not from forced interventions. Surround yourself with people who inspire growth, not decay. Choosing positive influences isn’t selfish; it’s wise. Aspiring upward exposes the flaws of the present and promises a better future. Surrounding yourself with good influences isn’t easy but requires courage and judgment to protect yourself from harmful relationships.
RULE 4: COMPARE YOURSELF TO WHO YOU WERE YESTERDAY, NOT TO WHO SOMEONE ELSE IS TODAY
No matter how skilled or accomplished you are, there’s always someone who makes you feel inadequate. But dismissing everything as meaningless is a shallow way to look at life. Instead, recognize that there are many areas where you can excel and grow. Winning at everything might mean you’re not challenging yourself enough. Happiness often lies in the journey, not just reaching the destination. Take small steps each day to improve your life and the world around you. Focus on what you can change and take action, even if it’s imperfect. Have faith in the goodness of life and commit to making it better, one step at a time. Pay attention to what bothers you and take steps to fix it, aiming for incremental progress.
RULE 5: DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN DO ANYTHING THAT MAKES YOU DISLIKE THEM
Dramatic changes, like liberalizing divorce laws in the 1960s, can have unforeseen consequences, especially for children. Kids naturally test boundaries to understand acceptable behavior, often through exploration and anger. Rewarding desired behaviors helps shape children’s conduct effectively. Discipline should be firm but not excessive, focusing on teaching rather than punishment. Parents must recognize their own flaws and set appropriate boundaries, prioritizing social development over mere happiness or self-esteem.
RULE 6: SET YOUR HOUSE IN PERFECT ORDER BEFORE YOU CRITICIZE THE WORLD
While many adults who abuse children were abused themselves, most people who suffered abuse don’t repeat the cycle. Success often leads to complacency—we stop paying attention and take things for granted. Neglecting to notice changes or corruption can lead to disaster. Blaming external factors like God isn’t enough; we must take responsibility for our actions. Instead of questioning how we know what’s wrong, focus on stopping harmful behaviors. Before trying to fix society, address your own life. Humility is key—how can you lead others if you can’t bring peace to your own home?
RULE 7: PURSUE WHAT IS MEANINGFUL (NOT WHAT IS EXPEDIENT)
Sharing doesn’t mean giving away without receiving anything in return. It’s about initiating trade and forming friendships through mutual exchange. Success often comes from delaying gratification and sacrificing for the future. To create a better world, we must reevaluate our values, even if it means sacrificing what we cherish most. Christian principles have shaped societies to recognize the value of all human life and uphold justice and compassion. Poverty overshadows concerns like climate change, showing the hierarchy of needs. Truth and morality are innate concepts, guiding us toward what is good. Aim for humility and self-awareness, and strive to make positive changes each day. Meaning in life surpasses mere desires, as it brings purpose and fulfillment. Meaningfulness arises from organizing our actions into a greater purpose beyond immediate gratification.
RULE 8: TELL THE TRUTH – OR, AT LEAST, DON’T LIE
I realized I often lied to impress others and get what I wanted. But I felt fake. So, I started practicing honesty. It helped when I didn’t know what to do. When you’re unsure, tell the truth.
Some chase utopias, but life demands action. Our brains adapt to new situations, but only if we engage with the world. Falsifying reality doesn’t improve it. Embracing truth requires sacrifice, but avoiding it leads to destruction.
Making decisions and setting goals gives life structure and purpose. Don’t settle for what you are; pursue what you could be. Have concrete goals but prioritize living truthfully. If life feels off, try telling the truth. In Paradise, honesty reigns. So, tell the truth, or at least, don’t lie.
RULE 9: ASSUME THAT THE PERSON YOU ARE LISTENING TO MIGHT KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON’T
Memory isn’t just about recalling the past; it’s a tool to guide us in the future. If we remember why something bad happened, we can avoid it in the future.
Carl Rogers emphasized the importance of listening without judgment. When we truly listen, people share their thoughts honestly, leading to meaningful conversations.
RULE 10: BE PRECISE IN YOUR SPEECH
When we neglect things, chaos creeps in. Unattended issues build up and strike when we least expect it. Focused intent and careful attention protect us from chaos.
In households, chaos arises gradually when mutual unhappiness is ignored. Problems pile up like crumbs under a rug, feeding unseen dragons. Howeverg confrontation only worsens the situation.
Facing uncertainties is like encountering something in the woods. If we refuse to confront them, they grow into dragons. Confront chaos, set goals, and move forward with precision in speech and action.
RULE 11: DO NOT BOTHER CHILDREN WHEN THEY ARE SKATEBOARDING
The text highlights the importance of competence over safety, arguing that facing danger builds competency. It discusses gender dynamics and societal hierarchies, suggesting that competence, not power, determines status. Additionally, it emphasizes individual uniqueness and the need for clear communication in relationships. The narrative encourages personal development and self-reliance, cautioning against overprotection and dependency. Finally, it stresses the importance of confronting challenges and developing resilience.
RULE 12: PET A CAT WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER ONE ON THE STREET
Superman faced a problem called “terminal deus ex machina,” where he was often saved by miraculous interventions. Loving someone isn’t despite their limitations but because of them.
During crises, schedule time to address them daily to avoid constant worry and exhaustion. Stay functional through tough times by conserving your energy and focusing on managing each battle.
Sometimes, simple moments of wonder, like encountering a cat during a walk, can briefly alleviate life’s suffering. Take time to appreciate these small joys, even if just for a few seconds.
CONCLUSION
Peterson’s 12 rules offer valuable guidance for navigating life’s challenges and enriching our inner selves. Through his wise, witty, and insightful advice, he encourages honesty, accountability, pursuit of meaning, and embracing positivity. His message emphasizes aligning our goals with goodness, beauty, and truth, while staying grounded in the present moment. By following these rules, we can strive for personal growth and fulfillment, balancing aspirations for the future with mindful attention to the present. They serve as essential principles to guide us through life’s journey.
